Higher road

“Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.” Proverbs 29:11 (NLT)

Sometimes the only thing you can control is how you choose to react. You certainly can’t control what other people do.

You can choose to get frustrated, mad, stressed out or depressed and express all of your emotions, which most often is destructive to yourself or others. While it may feel justified in the moment, sinking to the other person’s level ultimately isn’t satisfying, nor will it improve your relationship or the situation.

Instead, you can choose to take a step back, examine your feelings and shift gears. Why did this person/situation upset me? What’s behind his/her words/actions? Recognize that hurt people, hurt people. Will your response add to the hurt or help relieve it?

This is the essence of wisdom: Saying the right thing, at the right time and in the right way. And, sometimes wisdom is saying nothing at all—the right move is sometimes a non-move.

God calls us to a higher road and He will absolutely guide you in every situation when you sincerely seek is will.

Pray: Lord, help me to filter what I’m thinking and feeling right now to respond to [this person/situation] in a way that deescalates the negative and restores the positive.

Love you guys!

Adapted from a Facebook post by Pastor Rick Warren

Pathways

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As you are new in your career or about to begin one, I pray that it’s more exciting for you than stressful. Take comfort in knowing that God made you for a purpose. He gave us unique personalities and abilities that help guide our career paths. My hope for you is that your choices are based on this:

Of course, what interests you or what you’re passionate about
Your natural talent or skills that come easily for you
But also by where you are needed most. What breaks your heart? Working to remedy a need in your world could be the most satisfying career path of all.

Just remember that you are a work in progress and you will continue to mature, learn and experience new things for the rest of your life. So, your career path may take more than one turn along the way.

Some of the best career advice I’ve ever received is this: “Do what you love and the money will come.” If we love what we do and believe we are using our God-given talents for His purpose, God will provide for us. He is devoted to your growth for His good purposes. The Bible tells us that God “is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us.” Ephesians 3:20

Pray: Lord, I trust you to guide me; to open doors for me in your perfect timing and to show me my next steps according to Your will. Amen.

photo: The grounds at Ashford Castle; Cong, Ireland

Empowered

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When I’m overwhelmed, uncertain, stressed or doubt my abilities, I remember this verse:

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” Isaiah 40:29

It helps me remember that God empowers his people. He’s done some of His most awesome work through the most unlikely people and in the most unusual places.

God chose a shepherd boy named David and made him one of the greatest kings in history.
God’s son Jesus (David’s descendent) made His first appearance in a manger in a stable.
Jesus’ mother Mary was likely 13 or 14 years old when Jesus was born.
The 12 disciples Jesus chose to assist Him in ministry were young men in their twenties.
Before Saint Paul the Apostle spread Christianity throughout first-century Asia and Europe, and wrote multiple books in the Bible’s New Testament, he was a modern-day terrorist and passionately persecuted Christians.

God doesn’t choose the most powerful people, He empowers His chosen people. We may not be the most knowledgeable, experienced or influential, but God will still use us to make a difference in the world around us.

“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13

On Work

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I’m so proud of each of you for your work ethic. Not everyone has it, but those who do, stand out. Since we’ll spend a huge portion of our lives working and building a career, the Bible offers this advice in Colossians 3:23-24:

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”

Simply put, it’s doing your job to the best of your ability—when your work is seen and unseen.

In my over 40 years in the workforce, I’ve had several bosses. And, I’ve been a boss for the last 20 years. Here’s three things I think are valued, appreciated and Christ-like:

Be accountable for the work you do. If you make a mistake, own it. Be open and attentive to advice and instruction. This is the essence of humility and great leaders have it.

Be solution-driven. Almost anyone can point out a problem and take direction; but not everyone will consider options and have a recommended solution. Busy bosses get decision fatigue and even CEOs of major companies want to be told what to do sometimes.

Be a team. In addition to your work, try to spot and do something that makes someone else’s job a little easier. You’re likely to gain more respect, expertise and job satisfaction in the process.

On your wedding

Now that you’re married, Jack, this will be the last time I tell you what to do… [Do you believe that? It’s true]

Cherish your wife, Jack. A wedding is publicly committing to marriage before family and friends, and before God. But truly cherishing is unseen and in your heart and something Bridget will feel and know if you:

-Listen to her – hear her words and take them to heart

-Encourage her and adopt her desires, hopes and dreams as your own.

-Set your goals with her in mind

-Never miss an opportunity to lighten her load

-Tell her and show her your appreciation for even the smallest things

-Treat her like the sweet soul she is who is deeply and thoroughly loved by God.

I tell you this because your first day as a married couple won’t be the most important day. The most important day—I pray, the most glorious day in your marriage—will be your last day together on this earth. I want you to be holding hands with Bridget thinking about your happiest moments, about all the challenges you overcame that made you stronger. I want you to look back on your wedding day and also the amazing life you built together.

If you do these things, my wish for you and Bridget will come true… that you grow old on one pillow.

Worry

Whenever I see a bird, it reminds me not to worry. It’s because of this passage in the Bible:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” Matthew 6:25-27 NIV

This was from Jesus’ famous Sermon on the Mount, which tells us that worry is both unnecessary and unhelpful.

If I find myself worrying about something, I ask myself this question: Can I change it?

If the answer is yes, then do so as soon as possible. No need to worry. If the answer is no, then worrying about it is useless. If you’re not sure—pray about it, then trust God to guide you to a solution or acceptance of the situation. Again, no need to worry because God has promised to take care of all the needs of those who trust in him.

“God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19 NIV

It takes practice not to worry because we’re human—the only living being God made that is capable of worry. When I catch myself worrying or in other words, meditating on a problem or issue, I mindfully picture myself putting the problem in a box, covering it with a lid, tying a bow around it, and lifting it up to God to deal with. I take a deep breath and let it lift off my shoulders.

“Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

How to pray: Lord Jesus, thank you for taking this worry from me. I pray for your good and perfect will in this situation. Help me recognize your hand in it and trust that you have it covered.

A cheerful giver

For God loves a cheerful giver – 2 Corinthians 9:7 NIV

If I had to pick one thing that I want to be known for, I think generosity would rank at the top. In one of my journalism classes in college, we were assigned to write our own obituary and the inscription on our tombstone. Talk about thought-provoking! I pictured that on my tombstone it would read: A loving and generous woman. But at that time, I knew I had to earn it.

Three things about generosity

First, it’s not just about giving money or things. Simple kindness to others is generosity. In fact, the very definition of generosity is—according to the dictionary—“the quality of being kind and generous.” You can be generous with your words, with your time, or by giving someone your attention.

Do not neglect to do good and share what you have – Hebrews 13:16

Secondly, the best form of generosity is when it’s not easy. It take less effort to be generous to those you love or to those who have been generous to you. Be generous when you don’t feel like it, or when you think someone doesn’t deserve it, and especially when you know it won’t likely be reciprocated. That’s when generosity is most valuable and worthwhile.

Read: Matthew 25: 34-40 NIV

Lastly, the more generous you are, the more God gives you to share… as you’ve heard me say—likely more than once. But here’s what I know to be true… God rewards generosity in abundance—with joy, with peace and prosperity.

A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed – Proverbs 11:25

Make your bed

I knew it! The countless times over many years that I harped on you to make your bed was actually extremely sound advice.

In fact, one of the most acclaimed leaders of our time wrote a best-selling book entitled, Make Your Bed.

Admiral William H. McRaven served as a Navy SEAL for 37 years and led the United States Special Operations Command. This unit was responsible for commanding combat for missions such as the capture of Saddam Hussein, the rescue of Captain Phillips, and the raid for Osama bin Laden.

The book was based on a graduation speech he gave at his alma mater, the University of Texas. In his speech he says, “If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed. If you make your bed every morning, you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride and encourage you to do another task; and another; and another. And by the end of the day, that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed,” said the Admiral.

“Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that the little things in life matter. If you can’t do the little things right, you’ll never be able to do the big things right. And if by chance you have a miserable day, you will come home to a bed that is made… that you made. And a made bed gives you encouragement that tomorrow will be better.”

“If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones.” Luke 16:10 NLT

Power in Gentleness

Typically, when someone raises their voice to you, you raise your voice back. And, a likely scenario is that your voices—and the situation—keeps escalating.

Here’s a tip that if you can master, will save you a lot of heartache and conflict in your life: When other people raise their voice, lower yours.

The Bible says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1 NIV).

Gentleness defuses conflict. It deescalates anger. It’s called strength under control. When someone raises their voice in anger, instead of getting defensive, practice gentleness. Let your gentle answer disarm the other person and calm the situation.

“But the fruit of the Spirit [God’s Holy Spirit] is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” (Galatians 5:22-23 NIV)

Since gentleness comes from God, it carries with it divine power.

Inspired by a devotional written by Rick Warren; photo: Grandma and Grandpa’s baby goats

All things for good

When I was growing up, your Grandma used to say, “When God closes a door, he opens a window.”

It reminds me of one of my favorite verses in the Bible, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him” Romans 8:28a

Think of baking a cake… Individually, you wouldn’t want to eat any of the ingredients on their own (raw eggs—yuck!), even sugar all by itself is hard to swallow. But mixed together, baked at the right temperature, and served at the right time, you get something sweet and enjoyable.

That’s what God does with our experiences in life. They aren’t all going to be good. But God uses even our failures, disappointments and heartbreaks to teach us, prepare us or guide us towards the blessings he ultimately has in store for us.

He will also sometimes use them—through us—as a way to bless others.

A former coworker asked me to lunch. She wanted to thank me for some advice I gave her during a difficult time in her life that changed her perspective. It was a lesson I learned during a painful time in my life. I realized then that God used my painful experience and gave me the words to comfort someone else, which is one of the greatest blessings of all.

The key is to find the silver lining; our hardest times often lead to our greatest moments.